Hello, My name is Angela...and I'm pretty....I think.....

Well, where to begin.....Might as well start off by introducing myself. I'm a 31 year old wife, mother of 3, sister to 2, daughter (middle child!), but most importantly a child of God. The Lord called me back to church just over 3 years ago and I have re-dedicated my life to Him! It's been a roller coaster ride ever since. I've grown and learned many things about myself, and also been through some difficult times. Right now, I'm at a point in my christian walk where God is tapping me on my shoulder and telling me to step out of my comfy little box I have built!

I've been thinking about writing a blog for some time now, been going back and forth on what I would actually write about. You see, I'm shy and insecure. I often think some pretty cool things in my head, but I'm always reluctant to share them because I worry about looking or sounding silly. I'm a work in progress we will say. This all stems from a desperate need to be 'perfect'. Over the past 3 years this has been my biggest lesson/struggle. I know I am not perfect, I am human, and therefore filled with many imperfections. There is only one who can be given that label and He died for us to break free from things like this! That is what I remind myself daily when I start on with the mental head games, it is so easy for the enemy to sneak in there in our weak moments and start to break us down! Don't give him the opportunity!

Anyway, I decided to go ahead with writing this blog because I've had an idea swirling around in my head for the past week or so. Growing up, I never felt pretty, at least not from about grade 7 and on, and especially not 'naturally pretty'. From about grade 8, I wore make-up every. single. day. I felt naked and ugly without it. Since having my 3rd child, it's not as bad, I will run to the store without it, without feeling too stressed out, but still don't feel like me without at least some foundation on.  My oldest daughter Sadie, aged 3, has a great love of make-up. She watches me put it on, tries to sneak in my makeup drawer and put it on herself or her dolls. She will pick up each piece of makeup and ask me 'where dis go', and proceed to put it on. She calls it "getting pretty", I correct her by saying things like, no we don't need makeup to be pretty, you are beautiful, Mommy is beautiful. Nope, she doesn't agree, "NO" she yells, "I need to get pretty", as she reaches for the makeup brush... Ugh, stab to my gut. This is not how I wanted this to go! A long time ago, I made a promise to myself that I would never say anything bad about myself in front of my kids. I have done well with that, but clearly it's not enough, I do not want my daughters to grow up with the insecurities I have. So, I have a plan and I'm giving myself a challenge. I've talked to God about it, asked Him to let me know if He thinks I should go through with it and He did today. Here it goes...I'm going to take the month of October, that's the next 28 days, and go without makeup (I'm even doubting myself as I type this). I'm going to call myself pretty, I'm going to call my girls pretty, but not only pretty, more importantly, I'm going to call us smart, strong, funny, caring, important, loved.....and see where we are in November...

So here I am, unmasked...

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God 
1 Peter 3:3-4 NLT



~ Angela